The Less You Seek, The More You’ll Find | The Happiness Paradox

  • 🎬 Video
  • ℹ️ Published 5 months ago

The less we try to think about a blue elephant, the more likely this creature persists in residing in our thoughts. Imagine the blue elephant represents our unhappiness – our dissatisfaction with life – hence the color blue. Obviously, no one likes feeling blue, and when we experience it, we’re likely to try getting rid of it. But the more we try to push it away, the bigger the blue elephant seems to become.

Video: The Less You Seek, The More You’ll Find | The Happiness Paradox

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00:00 - Intro
01:53 - The elusiveness of happiness
04:55 - Disappointment & meta-emotion
09:09 - Doing without expectation

💬 Comments

This is how I found my wife. I spent my teenage years trying desperately to find someone, but that was too much pressure to put on a new relationship. Once I focused on being a good person, and finding good people, she naturally came into my life and we naturally found each other.

Author — Nicholas Olson


I love this quote from Rumi - "When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it"

Author — Paul


"You have enough. You are enough." I think everyone needs to hear that

Author — Yohai Zilber


This is by far the single greatest piece of advice for living a happy life.

Author — History Explained


Being in constant pain since 3 years Made me realize how happy my life was back then. Enjoy your life as much as possible and be gratefull for what you have, dont take your health for granted! Money, Status, career dont mean anything when you're Not healthy!
Brothers and Sisters plz pray for me.

Author — I. M.


"If you seek it, you won't find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness."

Author — Mark David Ignacio


Based on my life experience, I KNOW this is true! I can think of countless examples in my life where this was the case. My best memories came from not pursuing happiness but kind of just letting things happen without pressure or expectation. You can have a desire but don’t make it the focal point in your mind at all times or the pressure to obtain it will increase simultaneously pushing it away from you. I’ve tested this so many times and it always happens the same!

Author — Mr.Honest247


Have finished reading Stoicism for Inner Peace, and currently with Unoffendable in my hands. It is astonishing how the Stoics teach us something so profound yet so simple, but it would probably take years to master. Thank you for sharing this, I hope you continue to inspire us.

Author — Mochammad Husni Rizal


I'm going through a rough introspection and this gave me hope and pointed towards a nice way. "Searching is the antithesis of happiness" / That hit the spot

Author — TheEmpanadaIsALie


For the last four years i've subscribed more to the 'master your own fate' philosophy. But i find it burning me out and i have a mental break down every other day, so watching this and some of your other videos has really helped me find some inner peace. Like you said, i'll still set goals, but i'm now a little bit more mindful of accepting the is-ness of life. Thanks again Einzelganger.



I love your content. Is there any chance of an audiobook? I'd definitely buy a copy if you did one.

Author — Paintings by GM


Once you understand happiness is a result, the more it makes sense. Thanks for another great video. Ordering your new book now.

Author — gogo


I'm an extreme minimalist who only has a few passions and an EXTREMELY "boring" life according to everyone else. That's just fine, because I can honestly say, I am happy and far more than I ever am not. Simplicity, it keeps me content. YAY!!! p.s. being virtuous RULES!!! WOOHOO!!!

Author — The Mini Minimalist ♥


This guy has got to be single-handedly the most pivotal, integral, thought-provoking and inspiring person in my life. Keep up the good work, Einzelgänger. Your videos are amazing, but this one, this one tops the lot. I seriously believe a corner has been turned in my life thanks to these 12 minutes.

Author — Karl-Heinz Bickelhaupt


"The desire for more positive experience is a negative experience and paradoxically, the acceptance of negative experience is a positive experience itself"

Author — Zoi Lo


My interpretation of stop chasing / seeking is to transcend your goals. I started seeking things that are more complete or difficult than my old goals, and thus would reach my old goals in the process. For example, mike Tyson’s defense was so spectacular because he was constantly setting up and looking for openings for a counter, thus inadvertently creating an amazing defense.

Author — Athletic Cig Smoker


Rarely is the thing you're chasing worth it in the end. You have to be able to make yourself happy and not expect anything or anyone outside yourself to do it for you all the time. Too many people are expecting something that's never going to come and after a certain time passes they can't deal with it anymore and snap!

Author — Blaise


This is a damn good video. If anyone wants a lot (as in 3 videos over 3 hours) of extra content on Happiness I highlessly recommend Will Schoder's Happiness series using emotional state theory as a guide.

Author — Lvl up productions


"Happiness is just a byproduct" I came to the exact same conclusion a few months ago through journaling! I'm so surprised when you said that and frankly, that brings me happiness XD~ Thanks for the video!

Author — Richie Vide


EXCELLENT. And so true. The older I get the more I realize that going with the flow, as nature intends, and making slight adjustments, is the best path.

Author — Google User