ACOA: Why Do I Keep Living the Past Over and Over?

  • 🎬 Video
  • ℹ️ Published 5 years ago
preview_player
UCZWHfOsTVegeEFEXV56llWA

Do you find yourself re-living your life problems over and over again? Self Differentiation Expert Jerry Wise has been a relationship and family expert for 40 years he works with ACOA's and adult children of dysfunctional families and Adult Children of Narcissist Parents. Jerry Wise offers the reasons why ACA's ACOA's find themselves stuck and reliving their past over and over. He also offers the way out and how to get unstuck and move on in your recovery. Please share with your social media. Thanks
by Jerry T. Wise, MA, MS
Contact Jerry Wise to set up an appointment with him via Skype or Facetime
317-919-6264

💬 Comments
Author

Its so fantastic to finally learn these things about how I inherited these issues and how to resolve them!

Author — steve irwin

Author

Jerry, I really was struck by your comment that "we should not go to a legalistic, authoritarian church that like an alcoholic family." This is a big one for me! Thank you!!

Author — J Rosebud

Author

This is very true. I have a few close friends who unfortunately grew up with an alcoholic parent(s). And I also have some friends who grew up, with a narcissistic parent(s).

Author — Danielle Tirpkoff

Author

The longer this syndrome goes on and relationships remain unresolved, it makes it seem more and more permanent. I'd give anything to have a healthy close family and relationships but it just seems like theres no getting passed a certain point and you have to accept the aloneness.

Author — Sonnig85

Author

So true! How is it possible to heal from all of this crap?! I feel like it's hopeless.

Author — Perry Skye Phoenix

Author

Jerry, thank you so much for making these videos. You help me so much!

Author — Kelly Cushing

Author

1:35 I’m stuck in the present because I’m stuck in the past. My parents gave me all of their unresolved emotional issues.

2:35 For ACA’s, like me, there is no future. Only the past, over and over.

4:00 pendulum.

14:25 Hot & cold

😳This all describes me EXACTLY. Wow.

Author — The Zach

Author

Thank you so much for your videos, they are extremely helpful in making sense of the puzzle.
All the best to you!!

Author — pacha mama

Author

Great video Jerry. I'll be in touch :-). Enjoyed your video on the five stages of recovery and this one.

Author — W C

Author

Love "I married the same personality 13 times."

Author — Lee Boriack

Author

Hello Jerry, you mentioned about getting your family out of you work.
Is there a book specifically on that?

Author — Abundance26

Author

YouTube is a great format. I have been watching a lot of your videos and I can relate. I might even post some YouTubes. My 12 step journey started in Alanon and when I was dealing with my alcoholic mom I knew I was in the wrong meetings when I was in rooms of "mothers" and "spouses." When I started going to ACA meetings the "mothers" would take over those meetings as well. Now that the world is on Zoom I go to Alanon meetings with adult child focus and I do go to ACA meetings that are working through childhood trauma and learning to reparent themselves. I have a lot of different experiences with therapists. I am kind of at the point where I want to work out my past trauma threw EMDR but not to have a relationship with the therapist. Neglect seams to be the root of my issues and how do I deal with that. Honestly I would prefer to start my story with one EMDR therapist and then to pick that story up with another EMDR therapist. Then I do not have to deal with attachment.

Do you have any comments?

Author — Darin Smith

Author

Hi Jerry, I'm watching this great video of yours again. If I could please as you or anybody a ? My sister, her husband & her daughter made assumptions & lies about me and her husband all because when they first got married, on a Christmas of all days, I was visiting from out of town and I tried to sit and talk to him. But he wouldn't talk to me at all, he just gives me this hateful glare. That was years ago but it still pains me and all the lies pain me. They've scapegoated me for some years now. I am estranged from all of them now. And they still believe these lies about me but what can I do?

Author — Variety Videos

Author

Wow, you've lost a lot of weight. Way to go!!!

Author — David

Author

What do you mean by finding a company that functions like an alcoholic family?

Author — Michaelnolan1988

Author

Jerry love your work! While the view is nice, the outdoors is an unkind host for recording your important work. I had to put on captions to understand what your saying.

Author — Lee Boriack

Author

I would like a list of those resources

Author — Gilbert Fleming

Author

Maybe someone really need to HEAR AND LISTEN your

Author — Bengisu Şen

Author

Why is it I can't stop thinking about all of them and the terribly way they've treated me makes me so angry? I feel like I hate them - my entire family of origin and related. Plus every so often and since they've blocked me I borrow my son's fb account to get some digs into them - I did this yesterday just to try and get back at them a little. Some of the comments they thought was my son. I got to stop this bad pattern; I can't be doing this anymore. And my sister's family are a bunch of mean, country-type people. I could be endangering myself and my son. Please advise!

Author — Variety Videos

Author

Why you choose very loudly place to speak this important topic?

Author — Bengisu Şen