I am a survivor

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I am a survivor


I've been wanting to share this story for a really really long time. I hope this story inspires someone else to talk about it. I felt like I didn't deserve to tell anyone, but I couldn't stop thinking about this experience. This video was not easy at all to make, please be kind. Love to all of you.




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💬 Comments
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Jesus christ, she's literally so strong. Honestly Jessie is one of my main role models. "You don't owe anyone anything" is SUCH an important thing for so many people to hear, thank you Jessie

Author — Chai

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Today is National Women's Day in my country. South Africa stands with you Jessie <3

Author — Aqeelah

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The whole "learnt misogyny" is so relatable... i feel like we were taught to BELIEVE we are here to please sexually and that you're a bad girlfriend if you dont have sex often.. i felt forced into sex and like i don't always enjoy it because I'm doing it solely because i feel like i have to - only to recently realise i absolutely DO NOT HAVE TO. I hope whoever is reading this knows you are WORTHY and will be LOVED for who you are as a person and not for what you can "give". I love this community and i hope everyone is doing okay 💓💓💓

Author — M T

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I'm a straight cis guy and I am so angry and ashamed that men like that get to represent my gender. you and anyone else who has the courage to speak out about your experiences are so very brave, it must be so difficult to process and come to terms with that happening to you and you absolutely deserve all the love and support possible. you and your body need to be respected, especially by any partners. you own your body and it's not for anyone else to use or control ever. consent goes both ways so if one person isn't comfortable with anything at all then it shouldn't carry on in the same way. I'm so sorry that so many men are trash, you deserve respect and you don't owe anyone anything. I am so proud of you and anyone who is going though something similar. YOU. ARE. VALID.

Author — A . J

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as an asexual person, i really appreciate this video. the asexual community has a history of being taken advantage of, and i think it's really important for *everybody* to know that they absolutely have the right to call something off if they are uncomfortable, and to do whatever they need to do to get out of the situation. <3 all the love to you, jessie.

Author — faithroad

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Whoever dislikes this is extremely disrespectful. Jessie deserves all the love and support 💕💕

Author — rulinggemini13

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It's bad enough that this person disrespected your "no", but it's even worse that you felt that your experience was invalid because you weren't drunk or anything. No means no, absolutely true, but more important : everything that isn't an enthousiast 'YES', is a no!!
I know a woman who would 'agree' to these kind of actions, not because she wanted to, but because her husband would stop bothering her if she complied.

Author — Marlies D

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About 7 years ago I was figuring myself out and I was identifying as a lesbian at the time. I met this dude who clearly was interested in me, I told him no but said I’d be friends w him. He had a lot of money and would buy me things and take me out to dinner. I was really poor, underweight, young and without a support system. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal to spend time with him. He liked my attention, I liked having a warm meal. He would tell me if I gave him a chance I’d change my mind about men, I’d say “I’ve slept w men and it’s not my thing” and he’d say “you just haven’t slept with the right man yet, and that’s me” and I’d say “no, I’m a lesbian, I’m not interested, I just want to be friends”
he invited me to his bday party. I showed up and was drinking, but I didn’t like the vibe of the room so I left bc I didn’t feel safe being drunk around all these frat bros, so I went home and went to sleep. I didn’t notice he was following me. I didn’t hear him climb up my balcony and come in thru the sliding glass door. I woke up when he was already inside of me. I started screaming and crying. He apologized, he said he thought it would be “romantic”
It really really hurt.
I never saw him again
I spent a long time blaming myself for that, which is so wild to me now. I’d never give a man like that the time of day anymore, but that doesn’t mean I deserved what happened to me. And it stunted my journey to understand my place in the LGBT community and feel safe in my body, and in my home.
But I’m doing a lot better now.
You’re not alone.

Author — Emmett

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Also a reminder: even if you didnt say "No", your experience is Still valid. There are tons of reasons People dont/can't say No. You can Still be violated, its not your fault, and its not any less valid.

Author — Elsa Kolterjahn

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When you said you were taught a woman owes someone intamacy, it really hit me. I didn't even realize I was thinking that way. I'm asexual and I've always felt really bad about it, and now I know why. I have always thought that I would have to sacrifice my boundaries for someone to love me, that it would be wrong for me to say no. Now I know I should stop thinking like that and I dont owe anyone anything. Thank you so much for making this video, it really did help me.

Author — Jenna Eiden

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Yes our queen IS a survivor literally one of the strongest people ever.

Author — I want 2 die

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"You don't owe anyone intimacy" I am never going to forget that quote
thank you for making this video because it's not easy to talk about and it's something people need to hear about, so thank you for doing this
and side note but I really wish I could give you a hug now lol <3

Author — NerdyKat19

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Wow... It takes SOOOO much courage to do this... I was abused when I was 12... Haven't touched anyone since, because I was SOOOO scared that I would hurt anyone... It took me ages to even have the courage to tell my own mother about it, and I never ever kept ANYTHING secret for her. People tend to put you down, and make YOU feel bad for what happened, and make you feel like a weirdo for having any consequences after something like that. Especially if you're a man... I have severe depression issues at the moment, and there were suicidal episodes, and that abuse is part of the cause for my depression.
You NEVER owe anyone ANY intimacy, and your body is YOURS ONLY. No really is NO!!! Regardless if you like men or women, how you are intimate should ALWAYS be between you and your partner(s). NOBODY other than you can decide what you should or should not like.
I'm still single because of it, and yes, I often feel REALLY lonely. Watching you going through your ordeal won't help me to get my life in order, but it does help me, because I know I'm not the only one that wants to prevent other people from having to go through any of this. Aside from the eating disorder, we do share a fair few issues we went through apparently.

Thank you SOOOO much for sharing things like this to help anyone prevent this. It helps!!! It really does!!!

Author — Ronald Delvax

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So... I identify as asexual. I had a boyfriend who didn't respect it. At first I was so in love that I wanted to have sex with him, because I thought that's what is supposed to happen in a relationship. Looking back, we were pretty fast really sexual . I mean... it was interesting at first. But with the time I felt more and more uncomfortable and it was just boring. lol
I told him that I am asexual and I even cried because I hated it so much. I thought somethign was wrong with me. And he promised to be careful and always ask for my consent but in the end there was still a lack of community and I was too afraid to always say something.
It turned out that said boyfriend didn't really love me in the first place and the whole thing was so toxic... I still feel traumatized.

Author — Stella

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my best friends were sisters, and they were being sexually assaulted by their dad. Their dad told them that if they told anyone it would break apart their family and it would be their fault. It went on for a couple of years, until one of their friends said the dad was acting weird, and thats when my best friends told their other friends parents. <3 <3

Author — Meowf Meowf

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your story is completely valid regardless if it was someone you knew or not, if you were conscious or not, if you said something or not, or anything. i'm so proud of how far you've come and that you're using your experiences and your platform to help other people and that's what makes you an amazing human. you deserve to be respected and that includes your body. I love you so much

Author — jesse ck

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Jessie is a wholesome bean who should be protected at all costs.

Author — Brett Carruthers

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I just want to hug her and tell her she is wonderful. I'm so sorry honey.

Author — potato Potato

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TW: When I was 19 I had just got out of my relationship with my HS BF. After going on a few dates trying to move on I decided I must need a more mature guy and was an idiot and went to the apartment of a guy who was 34 (I’m still only 33 now and I can’t imagine sexualizing a teenager). He wanted to cook me dinner and I had it in my head I was going to have this sophisticated evening. Well he cooked frozen pizza and put on the goonies and fell asleep. I turned off the lights and went to give him a peck goodbye (for some reason) and got pulled into something I literally couldn’t see coming and was too in shock to respond properly too. I never said no and it took a few days of feeling gross to realize that I had been sexual assaulted. I felt like I wasn’t like held at a weapons point screaming no... so it had to be just my fault I didn’t speak up in the moment. Everyone will find a way to minimize their trauma and say it’s not as bad as someone else’s. That’s what trauma does, tries to minimize, excuse away and make us feel small and insignificant. We aren’t. I’m so sorry that was your first experience with a man. I always said I was shocked I ended up with a man after that- been with my husband since I was 21, but Turns out
we both came out in our 30s as queer. I love you and your content and you are unfortunately not even CLOSE to alone. I dont know a single woman who hasn’t at the very least at one time or another felt violated by a man. We need voices and platforms like yours so that shame and trauma can’t make us small and silent because we have community.

Author — Jenni S.

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As a fellow survivor, I would like to say that I’m so proud of you for sharing this and that you are so strong ❤️❤️ always here for you if you need a friend ❤️❤️

Author — Coolcat255